Jeffrey Morgan, "Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout: Fast, live and in concert"

There are so many people singing the praises of the written word that, at times, it can appear as though the written word is infallible--kind of like the Pope, or Radiohead. But I am here to tell you that the written word is not without fault. Above all , its ease of access allows anyone, however untalented they might be, an avenue to express their ideas and opinions. No longer can we rest assured that anytime we are about to read a book, essay, story, or dirty joke that it will be of quality and substance.

Enter Jeffrey Morgan.

According to an unnamed female source, Jeffrey Morgan is either the uncredited Canadian editor of Creem magazine since 1975, or the OB/GYN with a practice in Mansfield, Texas. Although it is possible that Morgan does both: juggling cervices with one hand and Lester Bangs' balls with the other. Bangs' death in 1982 would definitely have allowed for more cervix juggling.

I haven't read any of Jeffrey Morgan's earlier writings, so I can't say what kind of reviewer he was before his focus shifted to gynecology. But if his current writing is any indicator, he has either fallen into an abyss of mediocrity, or there is a deep imprint of his butt left behind on the couch of mediocrity.

Jeffrey Morgan's "Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout" #184 takes a look at several live performance DVD releases, including Dead Boys — Return of the Living Dead Boys: Halloween Night 1986, Quincy Jones — Live at Montreux 1996, and Gillan — The Glory Years. In all, Morgan reviews 11 DVDs, eight of which are releases from the Eagle Vision label. Obviously this means that Morgan is a shill for Eagle Vision and, therefore, can be trusted even less.

Currently Morgan presents himself as the type of reviewer who goes out of his way to let readers know just how atypical and obscure his tastes are, along with how witty he thinks he is. Example: "America — Live in Central Park 1979 (Eagle Vision) :: Need proof that they’re better than Neil Young?" What kind of people actually believe that America (the band, not the country) is better than Neil Young? Only subterranean molemen and subscribers to Lester Bangs' philosophy of antagonistic music fandom.

It's only fitting then that Jeffrey Morgan's "Jeffrey Morgan's Media Blackout: Fast, live and in concert" be awarded Kansas (the band, not the state).